Memories

Memories. Accumulated results, gained through experiences. As I grow older, I notice changes in my memory, especially short term memory. None of this is abnormal mind you. Friends of similar age kid back and forth about some of the doofy things we end up doing because we can’t remember like we used to. It kind of bothers me to see these changes in myself, but not all that much really. Recently however, I have been around many older friends and family members that are having real memory problems. My Dad has been really struggling with it over the past few years. I am truly blessed to have him. He is 88 and in pretty darn good shape for an 88 year old man. His memory is worsening quickly however, and it is not easy to watch the progression. In some ways, it helps that he is aware of what is happening to him. My Mom is doing an extraordinary job of both dealing with it herself, and helping him deal with aging. Often they are able to laugh over some of the things that happen around the house now when his memory fails him. Still, it can get to us and if I let it, it can make me very sad. I truly understand how blessed I am, and that this is a natural event and things could be so much worse. I try hard to keep faith in God and ask that all of us are given the strength and peace needed to help Dad keep up his spirit and help us to support him. I think I have made it tougher on myself, for you see I have always been very afraid of getting Alzheimer’s. I thought it would be devastating to me. However, a friend of mine with experience told me it is toughest on the loved ones.

This past week a thought occurred to me, a thought that changed how I feel. The soul never forgets. Our soul is not subject to the laws of physics and the natural wearing out our bodies’ experience. One of the beautiful things I think about our spiritual afterlife is that our experiences go with us. After all, Judgment day would not be possible if we had no memory of our deeds. Make no mistake, I understand that my life is pocked with unpleasant memories as well. Experiences of when I have acted unwisely, sinfully in the interest of self love. It is the result of these from which I must be purified before entering the Kingdom of God. Once done, I suspect the pure soul is left with only the good it created in life, and is then able to share in the fullness of God’s love, His peace. It does me good now, to know that my Dad will once again know all the good memories I was afraid we would not be able to share anymore. I know now, that if I do my part and it is God’s will, there will be a time in the future when I can be with those that go before me and remember together the blessings we have shared. Lord, thank for all the things in this life that help bring me closer to You.

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